Zara

2005-10-29T03:33:00.000-07:00

I dont really know what love is. Neither did i expect it to come like this. I cant seem to control my heart. If I'd know that this will happen, I would have stayed away from you.

2005-05-03T06:10:00.000-07:00

I need the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have,
but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
You gotta dance like nobody's watching,
dream like you will live forever,
live like you're going to die tomorrow and love like it's never going to hurt.
Nurture your mind with great thoughts,
for you will never go any higher than you think.

2005-04-14T07:08:00.000-07:00

we have two personas. 1-- our real self 2--our pseudo-self. we are comfortable in our own skin but we always think that the real us is unacceptable. thus, we tend to make coverings to hide the real us. our insecurities often remind us making us doubt ourselves and question why we can't be like our peers or people who we think is much more cool! more pretty! more well-liked! perfectionism makes us fall into the trap of what society wants us to be and not who we truly are. God made us who we are. he's the one who gave us our body and life. he made us this way and he didn't make junk. he makes everything beautiful. he makes me ME and he didn't make me YOU. we all have the same problem. no matter how great we look, we still think that we are imperfect. we should be glad that God did not make us like somebody else because we are unique. the only true place we can find our true worth is through our real identity but it is God who gives us our real identity. embrace yourself, evict those thoughts of comparison. be who you are. love the skin that you are in.

2005-04-09T10:04:00.000-07:00

Jed to Pei Wen: Hmmmmmmmm. Lazy to blog lah. Haha. Holidays ma must enjoy life now!!!

Anyway, I’m quite disappointed with my results this Semester and I failed one paper. Was looking for somebody nice and chatty to chat or go out with so as to take the load of my mind. But I guess it is useless, I gotta to face up to reality and sit for my sub paper. Man… I hate studying during the holidays.

I got my results on Friday and it spoilt the rest of my day. Lucky ‘nice’ Danielle is willing to accompany me to town and hear me crap. But under one condition, I pay for her expenses. But I ask to lah. Really need to talk to somebody badly. We catch Beauty Shop at Cin leisure and went to TCC at Cin too. By the way, Beauty Shop is a nice show but there is provided you understand the jokes they are trying to crack! Some are quite Chim and I don understand it at all. Felt so blur and toot! After the show we went for supper at Newton Circle and I onli reach home at like 4 or 5 in the morning. *Yawns* and woke up at eleven and prepare for nothing. It is great hanging out with Danielle; she is like my mentor and she give me the listening ears when I needed them most. Thanks woman if you are reading this. Anyway, she has gold fish memory (short term memory). She cannot remember things you tell her few minsutes ago! Had great fun hanging out with you! Thanks once again.

Pimples out break! All because of my leak of sleep sob….. AND! MY abs is like soft again. Sighx I got to blame myself was too tired to exercise the last 3 days and I ate a lot a lot of yummy food!

2005-03-26T12:28:00.000-08:00

Well had a great weekend last Friday with some of my friends. Meet up with Geor at PS and went to Tangs next because the both of us decided to get into something nicer. We shopped around in Tangs to evade the warm hot sun as the place is pretty cool. Well, we each brought a shirt from Seed and change into it. I know… We are vein. I admit we are. Haha.

Next, met up with Linda and have out dinner at Yoshinoya, Plaza Sing, and make our way to Chijmes because there was no nice available show at PS! Most of the show is either old, showed before, or sold out. How lucky we are.

Nice people like us accompany Geor to this Spanish restaurant at Chijmes so that she can get to see her dream girl only is supposingly to be sweet looking but I tot other else. =X
Next, Danielle met up with us us at ard 9 plus at the restaurant. She is Geor’s friend from School of design and it was the first time I’m meeting her. Haha. She claim’s that I’m a good bitching partner and I felt so gay. (-_- I know what you are thinking of! Jed is gay what. Still must think meh? Dots...)
Should look at Linda’s face when she gets tipsy! She look likes she is going to faint! So cute. Haha. But she leaves us when the 3 of us is making our way to town at ard 11. Somebody wan to be guai kia and be home before 12. So “GUAI” sia. =P
Went to Cin leisure and rot for 4 hours at this lousy café that serve lousy food. Intended to watch this Korean movie swing girls at 2 but I can’t remember why we din catch it. Lousy memory. I know. We leave the café at 4 btw.
Went around town, have pit-stops here and there at 7-11 for food and drinks. Now I know why there is so many 7-11 in town.
Had so much fun last Friday! Haha. But I can’t remember all the details but what I do know is I had fun and enjoyed the company. Danielle was right, ‘One night of talking can do a lot of things’; I learned a lot of things that night and made up my mind on some issues. Great to know a friend like Danielle! Keep chilling girl and see ya this Thursdays if we going clubbing’ together. =)

2005-03-24T06:56:00.000-08:00

Love me without fear.Trust me without wondering.Love me without restrictions.Want me without demand.Accept me for who I am.
Stand proud when you are with me.

I guess I had the worst 10 minutes in my life. Sighs. It is just the beginning of the holidays. I guess I should rejoice over it instead of pondering over what had happened just now.

2005-03-04T23:28:00.000-08:00

Finally the test are over! WHeeeee!
BUT! I'm still have one last lap to dash for, the most important one as well....
My exams! Sighx. It is like in 3 weeks time or something. Hopefully I will be back in study mood again after what have happened. Wish me luck man. I'm trying to find another pic for my background so I have kind of remove the old one. Hope you guys don mind. =)

2005-02-12T08:02:00.000-08:00

It hurts to love somebody...
Maybe Lisa was right, I should not put in too much feelings into one girl. The more feelings I have for any girl when things goes wrong and backfire, the more hurt I will get.
But who cares, I enjoy every moment I spend with her. But I fear for the worse.

2005-02-07T01:51:00.000-08:00

Time will prove my love to you and cement my place in your heart. For time will give me the credibility and the believability that I need to convince you to let me hold your hands.

Crushed.

2005-02-02T05:56:00.000-08:00

I cannot get to sleep even though I'm quite physically and mentally drained out. It is now around 5.26am and I can't get to sleep! I don't know how to describe this feeling. I'm just having that kind of 'heavy' feelings? A feeling that I can't find a correct phase or term to describe it right now cause I ain't feeling quite right now. Sigh. I'm feeling so crushed now. Haha.

She wishes to remain single and concentrate on her studies now because she is quite behind schedule. Yup, I understand how she feels because I'm going through this as way; I'm lagging behind the rest by a lot and I haven't behind attending lectures and doing my tutorials faithfully. I need to catch up with the rest if I still wish to get promoted. My Cumulative Grade Point isn't that great and I'm aiming for at least a 3 for this next exam. Time to get serious again and stop fooling around I guess.

Well, I will try not to distract Thea from her studies. After all, studies come first. Besides that, she is mentally tried because of some personal problems which I know little of. I guess by the time you read this, I would have talk to her about it because I'm meeting her at around 08:30 am in school. I was awake the whole night thinking what to do and what to say. I guess I will like her as a friend on the outside and treasure her for who she is from the inside. I'll wait for her till she is more ready to accept things and things are on the right track for her once again. I'mwilling to wait for her. I don't know why I'm so attached to her in such a short period of time. I just don't know why. Feeling so crushed now.

I have waited all my life

To cross this line

To the only thing that's true

So I will not hide

Its time to try

Anything to be with you

All my life I have waited

This is true

22 Jan 2005

2005-01-25T05:25:00.000-08:00

You are the reason why I will not allow my daughter to do gymnastics. Do you know how much my heart aches when you were complaining how much your back aches? Do you know how I feel like learning massage to relieve some of your pain or sharing your pain with you?

You sunk my heart when you told me that I have made you toe’s condition worse after I rub it for you. I was felt so relieve after you told me that it was normal to feel the pain and you were joking about it. That is so mischievous of you and my own foolishness as well.

I bet you have notice it by now. I somewhat love the fragrant of your hair and I cannot stop savory your hair when I have the chance to. I think it has become a habit and I kind of miss that smell. (eeeky =X)

Thea, can you return that something you have taken away from me even without me noticing? - You stole it away from me. If you really want it, please keep it by your side and take good care of it. Please return it back to me before it is too late. Return me that missing piece in my heart.

21 Jan 2005

2005-01-21T05:21:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed myself very much today partly because of you though I was quite drained out by the tests and feeling quite blur, perhaps due to the lack of sleep. Everything to me was so blur and I can't remember anything much, expect everything about you. The vivid flashbacks of you playing Crazy Taxi and Photohunt put a smile on me and melts my heart away. How I wish time can freeze just for the two of us- just for you and me. And you always are so cheerful and lovely. I may look bored, but inside of me I was actually smiling- my heart was smiling and sharing the joy with you.

How I wish that you will always stay like this.The other day you cried, I felt so terrible, helpless and useless because I did not know wad to do. I don't know what is going on. Not a single clue- that makes me even more helpless. AllI could do is to wipe away your tears for you and pray that everything will be fine for you in time to come.

If I could turn back the clock, I will give you a hug instead. A hug that I hope will warm your heart up once again.

If I'm given a wish, all that I will wish for is you. For you to give me a chance to heal thehairline cracks in your heart. I know it sounds easier then done but I will still try. I will try to stay by your side for eternally, shielding you from harm andshowering you with TLC as long as I can, as a friend or as a partner.